Celia Rivenbark: Mr. Trump, be on your bestest behavior in the South
We exclusive Southerners spend our lives blessing hearts, speaking in a soft and friendly cadence and trying, desperately at times, to put a reputable face on all manner of misfortune. It’s what we do. We deplore coarseness, loud talking and sprouted bread. When we have something the teensiest bit licentious to say, we simply scream it into the sofa pillow that was lovingly embroidered by our dear departed grandmother.
Which is why it may be harder than Donald Trump imagines to ingratiate himself to the South in patch to capture those 700 or so delegates up for grabs in the nation’s earliest primaries next spring.
I’ve criticized Trump in the recent, so I feel that I owe it to him to share some advice on how to campaign successfully in the South. It just wouldn’t be Christian not to.
First off, for Trump to excite the South, he will need to stop saying unflattering things about women. Southern women have brothers and husbands and fathers and sons. Talk about our faces as he did with Carly Fiorina and big Chief’s fixin' to have a mighty unpleasant face-rearranging of his own.